Misconception # 4: My Offender Must Earn My Forgiveness

This philosophy is usually accompanied by itemized conditions for relationship restoration. We set the bar impossibly high in order to justify our unforgiving heart. We demand proof of repentance and prematurely issue calls for restitution. We attribute motives and convince ourselves we can read minds (we say, “I know what he is thinking”).  Consider this:…

Misconception # 3: I Forgive, but I Won’t Forget

Also known as "scorekeeping," this one is popular among married couples (although not exclusively). When we employ this approach, we take advantage (in an unhealthy way) of the fact that we cannot erase memories. We keep the metaphorical file cabinet ready to retrieve the evil done to us in order to justify self-pity, retaliation, rudeness,…

Misconception # 2: I Don’t Feel Like Forgiving

Because broken trust and wounded egos produce an emotional response in us, we activate coping mechanisms. Our reactions vary from retaliation to withdrawal. Some people resort to passive-aggression (the silent treatment, the cold shoulder, or character assassination by way of gossip – proverbially dragging the offender’s name through the mud). Others default to shouting matches,…

Misconception # 1: I Cannot Forgive This Offense

When consumed by sorrow, bitterness and resentment, we often place certain transgressions against us in the category “the unpardonable sin.” We concoct a system based on frequency (some version of a three-strike law) and/or our relationship with the offender (for example, we usually forgive our children more easily than we forgive our parents).  Interestingly, we…

Misconceptions about Forgiveness

According to a recent study done by the Johns Hopkins University, forgiving others can lower your risk of heart attack, improve cholesterol levels, reduce pain, blood pressure, anxiety, depression, stress and even help your immune system. On the other hand, people who nurse grudges usually suffer these predicaments and resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms.     Karen…

You Have God’s Affection, Reason # 4

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39. The visible cosmos shall not reduce his love. God’s…

You Have God’s Affection, Reason # 3

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39. The Supernatural ream does not revoke His love Paul…

You Have God’s Affection, Reason # 2

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 The invisible world will not replace His love. The…

You have God’s Affection, Reason # 1

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 The natural order cannot remove His love from you.…

You Have God’s Affection

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 Paul answers his own rhetorical question from verse 35…