If you and your wife disagree on how often you should go to the academy, read on. I learned that it is possible to have a joyous Jiu-Jitsu journey and an even more rewarding marriage. Here are some suggestions on how to recruit your wife as your number one supporter.

1- Listen to her. You need to drill this technique more than any others in the dojo. I still haven’t mastered it, but I got it right a few times. Understand that the reason she wants you home is that she enjoys your company, and needs your help with the kids or dishes. She is not planning to make you feel guilty for training, but she does need your full attention when you get home from BJJ training. So, ditch the iPad, and be all ears. Great will be your reward.

2- Negotiate. Are you able to stay home for dinner at least three days a week? Check out the morning schedule at your BJJ school. Maybe you can plan a family outing for three Saturdays of the month. Communicate to her that your family is more important, and you will earn huge training credits.

3- Encourage her to have a hobby. You probably already tried inviting her for a trial BJJ class, but martial arts is not her thing. Maybe she can take up Zumba, or ice skating. Discuss hobby options with her and be ready to invest in her well-being. A word of caution: have her read this post if her new hobby takes her away from the home too much.

These tips apply to my female readers, too. If you’re neglecting your husband, stop. He is way more important than BJJ, and may even buy you a new Gi if you practice the techniques above.

Have a balanced life. Your game is a lot better when you train guilt-free. Feel free to suggest additions to the list. Oss.

Again, a great thank you to my friend Chandra Zarate for the great picture. Check out her website:

My daughter Julia helped with some editing on this one. I love you, filha.



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